S Day looms

So tomorrow is the surgeon. I'm quietly packing my pants. So I thought I'd be a little cheeky at work today and had a look to see if my MRI results were available online. Guess what... they were!

Now this caused a mix of feelings from deep within side me. Excitement that I could see the results early... should have thought of it last week though! Panic and frustration that they were available to the general staffing populas when staff results are suppose to be locked. So, I emailed a copy to my best friend and then rang the relevant department to have the results locked.

Looking at the results, some of it made no sense to me. And I do mean no sense. I just didn't understand what they were saying - it's not my speciality! BUT, what I DID understand didn't seem too bad. I shouldn't need surgery! WOOHOO! There is only a MILD impingement of the nerve and only one nerve. WOOHOO! Now I just need to work out how to release the nerve without surgery!!!

Today is a good day pain wise. My sciatic is generating pain about 3-4/10 and is constant. It's more annoying than anything. But I feel good enough to want to exercise. I miss it. The pain fog has disappeared. I want to box (especially since I'm mad at my apparent DH). I want to get on the treadmill. I want to go back to step ups. I want to do lunges. I want to do crunches. I want to exercise!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, I'm also afraid to exercise. What if I make it worse?! What if I end up in a screaming pile of pain? What if I follow my normal pattern of self destructive behavior and end up pushing myself too hard?! I need to make sure my first few times back are with Dale. I need to be safe.

Today I also sent off an application for a new job. One in OH&S and related to correct manual handling techniques. This is the PERFECT role for me! It's something I'm passionate about! AND it's only 3 days a week! AWESOME! It's a higher level which means more pay, so it would even out to around what I'm on now. I hope I get an interview!!!